Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mine forever

On August 23rd my loving husband of 31+ years, Ivan, passed away after a brain stroke he suffered a week before. My children and I are devastated, and there is only a big void all around us that we must try to fill with memories of a man who was full of energy, love, and optimism. He was honest, fair, and principled. Above his desk he had this quote, which is attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson:

To Have Succeeded

To laugh often and love much;
To win respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one's self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...
This is to have succeeded.

If this is indeed a measure of success, then he was indeed successful. We, along with numerous friends, will miss him and continue to carry him in our hearts as long as we live.


Virginia said...

Oh Pat,
May you find peace and comfort from family and friends at this very sad time. I am so very sorry to hear of Ivan's death. God bless you and your children. Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute with all of us.

USelaine said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your husband. The picture you give us here, along with the quote tell us so much about him, and your love together. Blessings on you, and all who knew him.

MuseSwings said...

Pat, I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your dear husband. I pray for the peace and comfort of you and your children.

For Ivan

I am no longer bound by gravity
I left behind all the
Indignities and frailties of mortals
I am healthy now
I have no pain

I am in a place beyond your
I see the beginnings and ends of the universe
I hear the exquisite songs of angels
I am attended by those who have gone before me

I stand unaided, straight and strong
In God’s light

It is all and more than He said
It would be

© Cynthia Ann Conciatu

Adam said...

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope you, your family and friends can find the strength to get through this very difficult time.

My thoughts are with you.


Anonymous said...

My condolences. I don't comment here much (at all?), but I have been reading for a long time, and my thoughts go out to you and your family.

May your memories be strong.

nanatrish said...

I am so sorry about your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. May the Lord comfort you in this very difficult time.

Sarah said...

I am sorry to hear about your husband death.His picture shows How much he was kind and lovely,God bless him and also your family.
Such man is always in the memories.

Thérèse said...

We are so sorry Pat. You and you family are in our thoughts.

Marie Reed said...

You must be in utter shock. It happened so quickly. He was so young, healthy and vibrant. This is so horrible for you. I guess one should write uplifting words... I will just be mad at God instead... If you ever need a getaway.. an escape from pain you are always invited to come stay with me in France too...

Tash said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. Ivan seems to have touched the lives of many, and through you, also our lives. You are in our thoughts. Natasha

soulbrush said...

what a huge shock to me and i didn't even know him. thank god you had those wonderful years with him and you have your children to be with you at this time.my sincere condolences and heartfelt sympathy to you at this time in your life and may he RIP.

vero said...

I'm so sorry for your husband, sincere condolences to you and your family.

Jonathan Davis said...

Dear Pat,

Please accept my sincerest condolences for you and your family.


Jane Hards Photography said...


I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss. Looking at this image of such a jolly vibrant man, it is just plain wrong that one such person should be taken from this earth so soon.

The image you have posted and the words will last as such a fitting tribute.



angela said...

Oh my word, Pat, I'm so very sorry to hear of your husband's death. There's nothing I can say to make the pain go away but know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

marley said...

I am so very sorry to read about your husbands passing. Your post today is a fitting tribute, and the quote is very moving.

My step dad died suddenly last year so I sought of understand the sense of shock and immense sadness that you are feeling. My sister read a poem at his funeral and the words and sentiment are moving and inspiring. It is called "He is gone". If you have time to type the title in your search engine you will find it. I hope maybe the words will help. They helped us as a family last year.

I am thinking of you and your family,


Chuck Pefley said...

Pat, I am for once quite short of words. Condolences and sympathy are appropriate and I'm sure appreciated, yet fall so short of filling the emptiness in your world. My heart aches for you and your family.


Anonymous said...

bibi, sta da se kaze?

molim te primi i moje saucesce.

volim i uzivam tvoj blog, tvoje komentare i slike.

kao neko ko je isto izgubio svoju milu pre nekoliko godina mogu da ti savjetujem: sacuvaj ivanove stvari u kesama. poslje toliko godina - meni - jos uvjek treba ponekad njen miris i ako u medzuvremenu polako akceptiram da sam je izgubio.


D said...

Bibi, I'm so sorry for your loss.
What a wonderful 31 years you must have had! You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers.

D said...

Bibi, I'm so sorry for your loss.
What a wonderful 31 years you must have had! You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kris McCracken said...

There’s not much that I can say that will make a lot of difference. What I can say is that I love your blog, I love the photos, and it is clear to everyone who reads your words the love that you had for Ivan. I’m hoping that you can get through the tough stuff okay.

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.

Kate said...

I haven't visited you blog before, but I'm glad that I did today. May you and your children find comfort in happy past memories. My condolences.

Belgrade Daily Photo said...

Dear Pat,
I am shocked and so sorry to hear of the passing of your dearly loved husband Ivan. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Janet said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. What an appropriate tribute for your blog.

dianasfaria.com said...

Dear Pat,
Thank you for taking the time to share this photograph of Ivan with us. Like others have mentioned, I can see he was a vibrant man full of life.
I lost my dear brother-in-law Paul 19 months ago and life will never be the same without him. I also feel pretty much the same as what museswings poem says. I think of Paul at peace.
Many thoughts and prayers for you and yours.

Unknown said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't believe it. Peace be upon him.

Louis la Vache said...

Somehow, the image in "Louis's" mind of how Ivan looked was almost exactly in accord with the image you posted. "Louis" saw in him a good man with a good and happy heart. "Louis" grieves for and with you, Pat.

Vlada Jablanov said...

My condolences. Peace be upon him.

Rob said...

I've heard this news through the CDP blogisphere. My sincerest condolences to you and your family for this loss. Words can no t express our sympathy, but know we are here and thinking about you.

Becky said...

You and your family are in my prayers as you move into the next phase of your lives. Loss is difficult no matter who or what it is, and nothing I can say can change that. I just want you to know that I care, and today's post on your photoblog is now my favourite one ever. I will bookmark and cherish it, and hope that when I pass away, there will be someone here like you were for your husband to say such wonderful, loving things about my life. God bless.

studio lolo said...

I came here via Soulbrush.

What a beautiful tribute to such a lovely man. It brought tears to my eyes, especially while reading his favorite quote. I can't begin to imagine how you and your children feel.

May you find comfort in your memories, and eventually, peace in your heart.

God speed, Ivan.

Hilda said...

Oh, Bibi, I am so sorry for your great loss. I will be praying for you and your children, and all who loved him and now must continue in this life without his presence. My sincere condolences.


Unknown said...

Bibi - I just want to reiterate what has already been said by other visitors.

My thoughts and prayers are with you in the hope that you and your family and friends find some comfort at this time.


Laurie Allee said...

I am so sorry for your great loss. His loving spirit lives on in you, your children and all who loved him. I am touched by your tribute and I send love and sympathy. I lost my beloved father several years ago and I know that there are no words to describe the anguish of losing someone so close to your heart. May you find peace and comfort. May he be remembered always.

Knoxville Girl said...

I am sorry to hear about your husband's passing. Your photo & tribute is lovely. I wish you and your family peace; take comfort in one another.


Jerez Sherry said...

This is certainly sad news, I am so sorry, and I don't even know what else to say, except bless your hearts.

Anonymous said...

Pat and I are very sorry to learn about the death of your husband. You and your family are in our prayers.

parlance said...

I'd just like to add my condolences to those that are already here. That beautiful quote Ivan had above his death speaks volumes about what kind of man he was.
I will pray for strength for you all in this terrible time.

Jilly said...

Oh my dear, I am so very sorry to read this news. What a fine looking, kind and gentle man he was. I can't begin to comprehend your loss but just want to add my name to the many who wish you well and sympathise in your terrible loss. The poem is just beautiful.

Thoughts, energies, love are with you.

Leora said...

I am so sorry. I just "met" you; this is my first time here. How difficult. My condolences to you and your family.

Dan said...

This is so tragic Pat. It is shocking and sad to hear of this. My prayers and condolenses to you and your family.

Mary said...

I am so sorry to learn of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim said...

Pat, Such a sweet face, such smiling eyes, such a dear man. Thank you for sharing this lovely photo and the Emerson quote that was so meaningful to Ivan. It speaks volumes. So does your love, affection, and respect for him. This is not as we would ever wish it to be, and I am so very sorry for this tragic parting and the awful void his loss has created. I add my prayers for your comfort to those of your many friends. I am so glad to have had a glimpse of this smiling, vibrant man, your forever love. May peace and sweet memories find you when you most need them in the days ahead. love from Kim

raf said...

Bibi, our hearts go out to you in this time of great loss. Your beautiful tribute gives us a glimpse of the wonderful man you shared your life with. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

marianne said...

Bibi, I´m so sorry that you have lost your husband. Sounds like a great man so a great loss for you.
Wish you strenght!

Profile Not Available said...

Oh, Bibi, I have been away from visiting, and I have stopped by to catch up on your posts and have found this. I am truly saddened to learn of your husband's passing. This photo is such a beautiful tribute, and I think the title is perfect. I carry the same quote with me too every single day in my calendar book, along with the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. I will be praying for you and for your family.

Petrea Burchard said...

Dear Pat,
Thank you for sharing this photo of your Ivan. He looks like a happy man, a success indeed.
Words can't ease grief. Time tempers it, and community supports us while we take that time. Sometimes it amazes me how we're all connected, how many names I recognize in the comments box. My thoughts are with you.

J.C. said...

Dear Bibi, I am so sorry to learn of your loss. May your husband have a blessed onward journey. May you and family stay strong. May his memory lives forever in all of you.

Anonymous said...

Bibi: I've missed couple of weeks of your photos due to vacation, and I made sure I went back where I left off. I have your website under my favorites...and just saw this post! :( My heart aches. I am terribly sorry to hear the news about your loss. The love you had for your hubby is vast…as you traveled half the world to be with the man you love. May Ivan rest in peace. I can only imagine your pain...and I truly sympathize! :( Please accept my sincere condolences.

Jelly said...

This photograph of Ivan, his face, depicts the words you used to describe him. I am very sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.

- Jelena

Anonymous said...

i only saw this post now. i just wanted to add my belated condolences. :(

he looks like a very happy man in the picture. and your heartfelt post leads me to believe that he did indeed live a life of happiness.

Anonymous said...

Dear friend,

I am writing this months later, and I am honored that your husband's favorite quote also hangs over my desk. It seems to me that it describes both of you perfectly, as well as another wonderful poem, "If", by Rudyard Kipling. May happy memories stay with you always.

Branka M.

nopham said...

With our deepest sympathy!

Daryl said...

What a smile .. I suspect this is a favorite photo .. I didnt know you then but I understand how much you miss him... may he rest in peace and I know you know he's with you always...xo

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